Stop the insanity. 5 things you can do to be kinder to you.

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So let’s face it, we women can have the tendency to keep going, going, going and put everyone else’s needs before our own. We ensure others are okay before we check-in with ourselves. We work, make sure our home is in order, our kids make it to school on time with lunches in their bags, our bosses are happy, our husbands are supported and we are a good friend to our girlfriends.

Sometimes being everything to everyone is just damn tiring!

If we don’t take some time out to nurture and be kind to ourselves, just being tired can lead to fatigue, overwhelm, illness and/or burnout.

So sistas, here are five things you can do take a little time out just for you: to nuture yourself! You deserve it sista!

1. Be still …near running water!

Sometimes you just have to stop and be still. Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted, close your eyes and quiet your mind: meditate. Feel your breath, listen to the birds, keep your mind quiet.

Even better is if you can do this by a waterfall or the ocean. Moving water releases negative ions into the air and scientists believe negative ions affect the serotonin levels in the brain, less dramatically than a prescription anti-depressant. There are ways to get your “good”, negative, ions. Take a walk in the park or near a stream. Have a shower, or sit in a lush garden, or go for a walk along the beach. Can’t do any of the above? Just open a window and breathe in.

2. Positive Self Talk

How often do you let that little voice in your head take over with negative or self-deprecating thoughts? I hear women all the time put themselves down: sometimes they really mean it, other times they are just trying to lighten the conversation. It’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming negative when you’re stressed. The thing with negative thoughts is that they make you feel pretty crappy so try and catch that negative little voice in your head and change those thoughts to positive ones. Your positive self-talk will re-energise your mood, make you feel positive and joyful. Make that little voice in your head a kind and caring one.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Some people are uplifting and a joy to be around, others are just energy suckers. Spending time with an energy sucker – you know those people that gossip about others, or put you down to make themselves feel important – can leave your drained and feeling just plain crappy. That is why it is so important to surround yourself with people that are positive and are going to lift you up not bring you down. Hang with your friends that make you laugh and lift you up and through stressful times. Go for lunch, get a manicure together, see a movie: whatever is going to nurture you!

4. Say no

Sometimes you just gotta say it, the big N word….’NO’. It can be hard, I know, especially when we are used to saying ‘yes’ all the time, trying to be everything to everyone. I know I always feel so guilty saying ‘no’ to people. I don’t want to be seen as unagreeable or selfish or a bitch. So I say ‘yes’….and then regret it because I said ‘yes’ to make someone else happy, not myself. That is totally not being kind to myself at all! Go on, you can do it….’NO”!

5. Make time for your passion 

Whether it’s an old hobby you haven’t touched in a while, or getting your hands into a new creative project, doing something just for the pure joy it brings you is such a great way to nurture yourself. Remember to schedule some time in every week just to either enjoy your favourite pastime, or try a new pastime!

By Melissa Histon, The Sista Code

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Melissa Histon

Photographer, philanthropist, adventurer, blogger, avid permitter and social changer, Melissa Histon is a woman on a mission to make a real difference to the lives of women globally. Melissa spent 10 years working in the corporate world before leaving to establish a successful photography business. After experiencing a number of life-altering events, Melissa created The Sista Code in May 2014 with a dream to see women empowered, happy and connected. Whether it's building a house for the homeless in Nepal, interviewing inspiring women from around the globe, or creating events and campaigns to support sistas escaping domestic violence, Melissa knows that true change can only happen when we all stand together and boost each other.

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