Turn girl hate to girl love

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Have you ever been gossiped about, laughed at behind your back, been accused of ‘thinking you’re all that’ or being ‘up yourself’. Yep, I know I have. When I started my photography business about five years ago, I was at a party and another woman accused me of ‘thinking I was so much better than everyone else because I was a photographer.’

It stung, but mainly because it was so stupid and wrong. It could not have been further from the truth. To be honest, when I started doing photography professionally I was freaked out and stressed out most of the time, worrying if I was good enough, if people would like my photography work and worrying how I would get clients. I was the complete opposite of thinking I was ‘all that’!

It took me a while to figure out that the person who had said those stupid things about me, really didn’t know me at all. She was just projecting her own insecurities onto me.

What really saddens me though, is that women tear each other down all the time. When a women, has the courage to try something new, to start a new business or hobby, to go on an adventure – to strive for her dreams – shouldn’t we be encouraging and supporting her?

I say all the time that women can absolutely change the world for the better. But we can only do that if we share the ‘girl love’… NOT the ‘girl hate’.

I love Laci Green and wanted to share this video. She’s one sista who is courageous enough to speak her truth…and she is dead right!

Girl love is about supporting each other and hoping to see other girls succeed, not being threatened by their success. Girl love is recognising the positive in each other, and building strong relationships. If we can stop the girl hate, and share the girl love, we WILL change the world for the better!

 Mel xx


Melissa Histon

Photographer, philanthropist, adventurer, blogger, avid permitter and social changer, Melissa Histon is a woman on a mission to make a real difference to the lives of women globally. Melissa spent 10 years working in the corporate world before leaving to establish a successful photography business. After experiencing a number of life-altering events, Melissa created The Sista Code in May 2014 with a dream to see women empowered, happy and connected. Whether it's building a house for the homeless in Nepal, interviewing inspiring women from around the globe, or creating events and campaigns to support sistas escaping domestic violence, Melissa knows that true change can only happen when we all stand together and boost each other.


  1. Jayne

    February 12, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    Great post Melissa. Couldn’t agree more and unfortunately some think that it is OK to criticise others on such a public platform like social media. Here’s to supporting each other and growing together.

    • Melissa Histon

      Melissa Histon

      February 13, 2015 at 1:48 am

      Thanks Jayne! I appreciate your support and spreading the word that we must be more encouraging of other women! Mel xx

  2. Belinda Bow

    February 17, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    Admitting that there is girl-on-girl hate is one of the hardest things to do. I have spoken to lots of women about this over the years and most are completely oblivious that this exists.

    What we have to remember is that it exists in a way we might not see – judgement. By judging others for what they do, or don’t do, for what they say, or don’t say or even their weight is girl-on-girl hate. We need to stop (me included) and really understand that we are all doing the best we can with our lives.

    And here is the idea in its most simple form – BE NICE.

    And that is all I have to say about that. 🙂

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